Author: Rabia Tariq
April 01, 2023
When a mother leaves this world, she takes away your entire world, inside her grave.
You feel like setting up a fire and giving up on everything; all the goals, motivations, hopes, enthusiasms, sparks, dreams, each & every substance or particle around you, each organ within you, everything feels like a black dark matter.
(Void. Engulfed with lifelessness)
You start viewing this new strange world with a lens that was previously hidden when she was present.
Now, this new lens is infinitely wide and you don’t have the ability to focus on objects anymore like the way you use to.
She was a filter that absorbed all the negative vibes coming your way from different directions.
Once she is gone, that protection filter is also gone with her at the time of her burial. You will like burying all your remaining dreams alongside her.
When she was present, you considered her to be a soft & weak entity but in actuality, she was the hidden ultimate strength for your survival in this society, among different relations & acquaintances (good or bad).
Not only do you lose a relationship with a mother, but you also lose all other worldly relations as well.
She takes away the rope that assisted you in connecting with other human beings around you.
The moment she leaves this world, every single cell of your body starts screaming in agony, persuading you to abandon this world.
Every neuron in your brain starts igniting with fumes, trying to poke you every single second with thoughts that were once nightmares for you.
From the very next day, the morning dawn light from the window will come rushing straight into your eyes, cutting you with a sword.
You would get jolted with terrible pain in your chest, with an ocean of tears inside your heart flowing through the eyes, realizing “she is not here. She will never be” … That moment you’ll ask yourself “Can I ever touch her again?”
However, the world won’t stop for you, you’ll breathe even if you don’t want to, and you’ll fight a war every single second with your body cells, organs, limbs, neurons, and thoughts.
You’ll drag yourself forcefully to live another day without her, and each day will seem like an eternity, infinitely long.
Ufff Couldn’t even bear the thought of losing a parent and especially losing my Amma. This was something extremely heart wrenching. You can only realize your parents’ importance when they aren’t around anymore
May Allah SWT bless her soul. Sending prayers and strength your way. The way you delt with everything. I’m sure she must be proud of you
Had goosebumps while reading. N can’t even imagine a life without mother n nothing nothing in this world can prepare you for that.
Can’t say just reading we or I can feel everything you or anyone in this situation have experienced but still even the thought of that sent a shiver. I agree how wrong perceptions we have of our mothers that they are weak but we can’t even think of their strength with which they held everything. May Allah give higher ranks to your mother in Jannah.
Thanks.
Just made me cry Mother is the MOST precious thing and there is no trade for it to come back just for once
You have described the feeling so beautifully and truthfully. I cant even imagine what you have been going through but I know that you are strong and I am sending you more power and dua
True…each and every word is so deep and right .
Parents are blessing…specially mother….no words for this relation….May Allah give higher rank in Jannah..Ameen..
Lots of love, prayers for you…
Bitter truth and one cannot imagine what u have been through . Each and every word explains your pain and its way more than we can ever imagine. Its a forever loss . May Allah give you patience. Very well said
You are so right here, mothers are like nucleus and we are just nothing without them. Parents are the biggest blessing in our lives. May Allah pak grant you strength to bear this loss and do the right things in your life and make your parents proud today and forever. Amen
There is no doubt a void that is left behind when the parents are gone. This void remains forever until we ourselves become mothers and take on that role. Time is a great healer. May Allah give you eternal peace in your heart and give you the strength to face the world. I totally agree that our mothers are always there to pull us out of the negative narrative that we sometimes build within our minds due to the realities of our ongoing life. Stay strong and live on with your moms great strengths that she passed onto you. Aunty was a gem and she will be dearly missed and may Allah give her the highest of the ranks in jannat ul firdos ameen!
We can’t even imagine what pain you must have been through and go through on daily basis missing her. But all I know is how strong you are khala! I am forever rooting for you and you always stay in my prayers. ♥️
beautiful and the line… “will I ever be able to touch her again?” More powers to you
Beautifully expressed how it feels in real… Wishing you courage, peace and lots of love.
I’m out of words but my eyes are full of tears. The pain one feels while thinking “will I ever be able to touch her again?” No amount of words are enough to take your pain away Rabia. She’s gone but she’s in our hearts, forever. xx
Beautifuly explain the pain your are feeling now a days. Each and every word of your is so much deeper Indeed. Parents are the most precious treasure. This treasure only feels when they are not even here for us in bad or good time. May Allah bless her soul. Ameen
Tragically beautiful. Indeed Parents are the most precious treasure. Losing a parent is like a double-edged sword, you feel an excruciating pain of loss, and at the same time, you are relieved that they are in a better place, away from all worldly pains. May Allah bless their souls.
Agree with each and every single word!
Loss of a parent moves your world upside down. And the real exam of life starts afterwards. But they are always within us not physically but spiritually sometimes mentally. She’s always in my prayers and so are you. May you have the patience and courage to face the worldly realities and challenges.
More power to you!!!